October is Domestic Violence Awareness month

By JENNIE OLSON
contributor

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Nationwide one in three women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. An average of three women lose their lives every day to domestic violence.
Females 16 – 24 are at the highest risk for domestic violence.
Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15–44.
Many people may question why women do not leave their abusers. Here is a list of obstacles to leaving. Advocate: The victim doesn’t have an enthusiastic supporter on their side so may feel discouraged or hopeless.
Batterer: The batterer is wealthy, famous, powerful in the community, etc., and can afford to hire private counselor and pressure decision-makers.
Believes Threats: The victim believes the batterer’s threats to kill them and the children if they attempt to leave.
Children’s Best Interest: The victim believes it is in the children’s best interest to have both parents in the home, especially if the abuser doesn’t physically abuse the children.
Children’s Pressure: The children put pressure (independently or by the abuser’s influence) on the abused parent to stay with their partner.
Culture and Race: Because of differences in race or culture, the victim worries about being treated unequally by the justice system if they come forward, or believes stereotypes about acceptable actions in their own culture.
Denial: The victim is in denial about the danger, instead believing that if they could be better partners, the abuse would stop.
Disabled: Victims who are disabled or physically challenged face obstacles in gaining access to court and social services, and may be isolated from basic info about resources.
Elderly: Elderly victims may hold traditional beliefs about marriage and believe they must stay, or are dependent on the batterer for care even in the face of physical abuse.
Excuses: The victim believes the abuser’s excuses to justify the violence, blaming job stress or substance abuse for example.
Family Pressure: Family members exert pressure if they believe there’s no excuse for leaving a marriage or if they’re in denial about the abuse.
Fear of Retaliation: The batterer has shown willingness to carry out threats and the victim fears harm to themselves or the children if they leave.
Fear of Losing Child Custody: The batterer has used the threat of obtaining custody to exact agreements to their liking.
Financial Abuse: Financial abuse can take many different forms depending on the couple’s socio-economic status — ex. If victims have been forced to sign false tax returns or take part in other unlawful financial transactions.
Financial Despair: The victim realizes that they cannot provide for themselves or their children without the batterer’s assistance.
Gratitude: The victim feels gratitude toward the batterer because the batterer has helped support and raise their children from a previous relationship, or take care of them if they have health, medical or other problems.
Guilt: Batterers have convinced victims that the violence is happening because it’s their fault.
Homelessness: Homeless abuse victims face increased danger, as they must find ways of meeting basic survival needs of shelter, food, and clothing while attempting to elude their batterers.
Hope for the Violence to Cease: This hope is typically fueled by the batterer’s promises of change, pleas from the children, or family’s advice to save the relationship.
Isolation: The victim has been cut off from family, friends and colleagues and lacks a support system or people to stay with.
Keeping the Family Together: Victims believe it is in their children’s best interest to have their father or a male role model in the family.
This is part one in a series on domestic violence awareness. Part II will be in the Oct. 10 edition of the Emery County Progress.