Column: What’s Up with that: Somewhat confused by Roger Baker

Somewhat Confused: pen name: Roger Baker
I’ve lived in Emery County for a few years, in the United States all my life and am confused about many things. It is my hope that you can straighten me out. I will be writing in the Progress in the next few months to solicit your help in my quest. Please respond to the Progress so that I can be better informed.
Let’s start with why Emery County has different symbols than the State of Utah has labeled as State Symbols. Here are four Examples:
Utah has labeled the Sego Lily as the State Flower where as Emery County has clearly glorified the Dandelion. I see yards decorated with the county flower. My town has thousands of them showcased in many front yards. I am looking forward to the Dandelion floral arrangement contest at the county fair this year. That should a thing of beauty to behold. As for my fellow residents, please don’t share your prize winning Dandelion seeds every time the wind blows in town.
The State has deemed the Quaking Aspen as the State tree, where as Emery County has a tie between the Russian Olive and the Chinese Elm as their favorite. I believe we have enough of both in the county.
Please tell your Chinese and Russian friends that we are imposing an embargo on both trees. I have tried to make Olive Oil out of the fruit of the Russian Olive with no success and have tried to bake, salt, and pickle the seeds of the Chinese Elm with no luck at all.
Maybe when I visit the food exhibits at the county fair, I’ll pick up some pointers I’m sure.
The Rocky Mountain Elk is the State animal, but Emery County has chosen the Raccoon as her outstanding animal.
I don’t know when she first snuck into the county, but she’s here to stay. The State is so impressed with the Raccoon that it has gone to the point of importing Pheasants into the county so that the Raccoons will have eggs to eat.
When any of you see a Raccoon sneaking into the county, please tell them that my corn field is off limits.
Can you believe that the State has published the Spanish Sweet Onion as the vegetable representing Utah, when any good Emery County Citizen knows it’s the Zucchini Squash hands down.
When I first arrived in Emery County, I found Zucchinis lined up at the Post Office, in my car after church, on my front door step in the morning. They hide in cookies, bread and spaghetti sauce. They are everywhere.
Maybe you also are confused about the state of affairs in our area or have more to add to my list. Just drop me a line at the Progress Opinion page in care of “Somewhat Confused”.
Send any questions to editor@ecprogress.com
I can’t figure it out by myself.